Help (again)

[Pop]

y'all helped me pick out my bagpipes. Now I need your help again. How to convince my wife I NEED to go to bagpipe summer school. Any ideas would be helpful.

[Iain Sherwood]

1. The concentrated program will expose you to a lot of new information.
2. The classes will help you to improve the speed and rhythm of embellishments.
3. Exposure to other pipers 'in the same boat' will reaffirm your desire to improve, and provide reassurance that you're 'not the only one having these problems.'
4. Hearing the instructors play and discuss the music, pipe maintenance, and reeds is both helpful and inspirational.
5. And most important - it will get you out of her hair for a week.

[Pop]

Iain,
Items 1-4 are valid (for me). As for number 5, I am sure she will want to go along, and I do not think she gives a rodents anus about 1-4. She will not fly, has no interist in piping,and so on. It is going to be a very tough sale.

[Scott Malcolm]

Originally posted by Pop:
As for number 5, I am sure she will want to go alongWhy would she want to go along is she doesn't care about piping? If that's the only problem, then bring her. Maybe some of the concerts/festivities might interest her, or get her interested. I know how ya feel pop. My wife tries to be supportive, but doesn't care at all about the pipes or pipe music. It sucks not being able to share it with her. Especially considering that piping has quickly become all-consuming with me.

Scott

[londonpiper]

Originally posted by Pop:
She will not fly, has no interist in piping,and so on. It is going to be a very tough sale. So what is she interested in Pop?
Maybe there's something local to the school that might tickle her fancy, if you know what I mean.
:wink:

[Richard Mao]

Welll...

We might try to work it in with a great tourist/interesting/food area (so she can shop and sight see during the day)... great instructors concerts at night... and maybe a highland games at the end.

Look at The California Summer School of Piping near San Diego (at the Army Navy School on the beach in Carlsbad)... June 13-20 (seven intense packed dedicated days)... instructors from College of Piping...Glasgow

June 21-22 are the San Diego Highland Games.

look at http://www.bagpipesummerschool.com/

tons of area attractions, zoo, seaworld, tijuana shuttle, mountains, ocean...

--------------

Alternately look at the locations for the Balmoral School of Piping...an outstanding school for solo pipers. (instructors Mike Cusack, Alasdair Gillies, John Wilson... awesome)

specifically the June 8-20 sessions (choose first week, second week, or both weeks)... in Crestview Kentucky... bedroom community of Cincinnati, OH.

If she can't find stuff to do... from cultural, zoos, aquarium, Kings Island, huge shopping centers... riverboat tours, baseball.. in and around Cincinnati, Southern Ohio, Northern Kentucky... she ain't trying.

my wife found quilt shops galore...

look at http://www.bagpiping.org/

---

More research? more alternatives?

browse through the schools section of Bob's Web Directory.. Each school has websites of local attractions.

http://www.bobdunsire.com/bagpipeweb/bpwnewppr.html#schools

happy hunting

Being in love is much like going to the dentist
sometimes it hurts soooo bad!!!!
sometimes you just want to spit!
from a love song to a dentist…Camille West

Richard Mao, The Peking Piper ( PekingPiper@mao.org )

[Chad McMurry]

I'm surprised we haven't heard from anyone about the fact that working in a dedicated setting like that for even a limited time can make a new piper a much better player (speaking from personal experience with weekend workshops). If you have to practice anywhere near her, I'll bet she'd appreciate the improvement.

[Pop]

She says she does not like my piping CD's that I play and those are the WORLDS GREATEST PIPERS, Pipers of Distinction, etc, so I doubt if my playing will win her over.
Women, I think, sometimes like to be contrary just to keep us off ballance. I will admit I do not understand them.

[Patrick Dean]

Originally posted by Pop:

Women, I think, sometimes like to be contrary just to keep us off ballance. I will admit I do not understand them. You, and the rest of us, Pop. :rolleyes: A most exclusive club we have here. Only 3 billion members (assuming that the ratio of clueless vs informed is 1 : 1) :wink:

[Bill Mc]

Tell her your going to take up fishing. At about 50 grand for a boat plus all the equipment , she might be convinced

[Scott Malcolm]

A man was walking along the beach one day and stumbled across a magic lamp. Naturally, he rubbed it and a genie appeared. The genie offered him one wish. The man thought for a moment and started to explain to the genie that he always wanted to go to Hawaii. He then proceeded to explain how he was deathly afraid of airplanes and boats. He asked the genie if he could make him a bridge from California to Hawaii. The genie looked concerned and explained that that was an extremely tall order, and wasn't sure if he could do it. He urged the man to make another wish. The man thought for a moment, then replied "well, how about this.. I would love understand women. They've been a mystery to me for as long as I can remember" to which the genie replied.."would you like one lane or two......"

Scott

[Sara Jo]

Ladies! are we going to listen to this woman bashing and take it??? enough already!
maybe your wife is one of those people who just can't stand bagpipes. GASP!!!! it's hard to believe but i suppose there are a few out there. so just go to the event without her. no one says that just because you love each other you have to like the same things. while my husband fishes, i read bagpipe stuff or scare the fish away with my practice chanter! so what if you don't do everything together. you still support each other, right?? if she's insecure about you going to this without her but doesn't want to go with you maybe there are deeper issues going on in her head that she isn't talking to you about.
am i off mark here?

[ChickaDee]

Pop,

I have to agree with Sara Jo on this one. If your wife really doesn't like bagpipes, nothing you say or do will change that. However, hopefully she will support you to continue with piping because YOU enjoy it and she loves you. There are many things she could do at these workshops to keep her busy, if she wants to go. Could it be possible that she would really rather stay at home? :shrug: It might be she goes with you to be supportive and would actually be relieved if you suggested she stay home. Do you, in turn, do things she likes to do? If you haven't been supportive of her interests, maybe that is why she hasn't been as accomadating as you would like. Good luck!

[mosafef]

Originally posted by Sara Jo:
Ladies! are we going to listen to this woman bashing and take it??? enough already!
Actually I don't think it was women bashing. More like an admission that we're clueless. Ever seen me try to find ANYTHING?!?! it could be right in front of me and I still say "Honey, where's my xxx?"

On the other hand Pop, take her someplace, oh I don't know, like Aurora the last week in June!!!! She might be bored but we'd be having too good a time to care :D Seriously though good luck.

[Pop]

Sara Jo,
I was not women bashing. I stated that I do not understand women, I don't think many men do. As a group y'all seem to expect us to be mind readers, few if any of us are, pick up on your secret code (which all women seem to understand), and most of the time we dont, and to know/understand things with out being told, its rare when we do. I like and love women in general and my wife in particular but I do not understand her or women in general. Ben Franklin is reported to have said "the man who understands women is dead, and his mother hasn't been born yet".
Dee,
most of the stuff we do is her interest: beanie babies, slot machines, western music etc. Most of the trips we have been on are to destinations of her choice. Dont get me wrong I am not complaining ,I have learned to like western music, chaseing beanie babies etc and I like her company. I just,in this case, would like some resoprosity.
I doubt if I am the only man in the world who has this problem in understanding his wife and women in general.
I dont play golf, hang out in bars, or chase skirts. I come home when work is done,I take out the garbage, do the grocery shoping and generaly try to be helpful. I know that I am not perfect but I think I am a perty damn good husband.
I want to improve my bagpipe playing and I think summer school is a good way to do itl

[Lonny B.]

Pop... to answer your orginal question... play for her. :lol: :banana: that's all it took for me!

As far as understanding women.. what's the big deal.. you do what they want, THEN you get to do what they want! Once you relize this, life is much simpler.

[Pop]

I would agree with you but I would like to point out that often (in my observation)they dont tell us but expect us to "just" know what they want.

[Lonny B.]

Hmmm...well heheh I guess you have a point there..even if you have no idea.. just do something anyway, she will love you for trying and being cute. It has always seemed to work for me. Kinda like when you tell your dog to go get the paper, and he gives you that stupid look like "What" then goes and gets his ball, waggling his tail being cute... same thing. :D

[Pop]

I did get her the paper once carrying it in my teeth and saying woof,woof. She didn't get the joke. On the other hand I do seem to spend my share of time in the "dog house"

[Lonny B.]

Well brother... I can only suggest profesional help then. Your situation sounds more serious then I am qualified to deal with. hehehehe Good luck Pop.. I hope you make it to summer school... :D

[Bill Mc]

Originally posted by mosafef:
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Originally posted by Sara Jo:
<span style="font-weight: bold"> Ladies! are we going to listen to this woman bashing and take it??? enough already!
Actually I don't think it was women bashing. More like an admission that we're clueless. Ever seen me try to find ANYTHING?!?! it could be right in front of me and I still say "Honey, where's my xxx?"

</span></div></div>Your wife probably hid your xxx :banana:

[ChickaDee]

Pop,

Ronald suggested maybe you take up golf, bar hopping, and skirt chasing....then your wife won't mind the piping so much :lol: Spoken like a true man!!

[Pop]

Thanks Dee,
Y'all got a laugh out of that one. She does say that she will go to Shreveport again next year, maybe we can get her to participate in some of the festivities this time.

[Speeder]

Ladies! are we going to listen to this woman bashing and take it??? enough already!
If a man makes a mistake and there's no woman within 50 miles, is he still wrong?? :) :)

[Sara Jo]

Wow! this is turning into a hot topic!
Pop, maybe your wife just doesn't realize how much becoming a better piper is to you. Maybe she thinks this is just a middle aged crazy hobby that you've taken up and you'll get tired of it eventually. My husband thought I was going through some weird pre-menopausal thing until I could play about 6 tunes fairly well. I had to learn Amazing Grace and practically bring him to tears before he was really agreeable to my spending the $$$$ on my pipes. If she doesn't agree to your going after you restate how important it is to you ask her if all the events she has dragged you to were important to her. If she's not willing to give you this one event she's got a problem. Geez! I would never drag my husband to beanie baby stuff! much less western music---ugh!!!!!! Pop, you sound like a paragon of virtue. Tell her to get a grip and concede to you on this.
and Speeder--to answer your question---only if he hasn't asked for directions :wink:

[Ken MacKenzie]

I've been sent a couple of emails about this thread asking me if it seems appropriate. I haven't considered closing it or commenting on it since I'm hoping that someone will come up with the answer all us guys from Mars have been trying to figure out since Garden of Eden days.

I am fortunate in that my spouse "allows" me to participate in as many piping activities as I can reasonably afford and then some without complaint. Of course there is a price for all this and I have to try to decode the signals in an attempt to pay that price. So far I haven't gotten it exactly right but the attempts in themselves seem to be enough. At least up to this point.

One of my methods of distracting from the issue a bit is to announce that I want to spend a large amount of cash on yet another piping toy and then a few days later, I'll humbly decide that maybe I'll not go ahead with it for now and slip something else under the horizon.

I'm perfectly aware that all this is as transparent as a pane of glass to the recipient, but the appearance of humility in the face of superior fire power is sometimes all that's needed.

Bob, where's the tongue firmly in cheek icon??

Ken

[mosafef]

Originally posted by Ken MacKenzie:

One of my methods of distracting from the issue a bit is to announce that I want to spend a large amount of cash on yet another piping toy and then a few days later, I'll humbly decide that maybe I'll not go ahead with it for now and slip something else under the horizon.
... oooohhhh that is good ...
Need to add that one to the list.

[lonewlf4]

My husband knew I played pipes when he met me. He has said that he didn't know How much I played, but he has adjusted. Al chooses not to come to many competitions because (1) I don't have much time for him or anyone when I'm competing, and (2) it's not his thing. He does come and watch our daughter compete, and then goes home. As far as buying more piping stuff, he doesn't whine at me and I don't whine at him when he goes and buys another model train. When the guys he works with can't believe he allows (?! :lol:

[Speeder]

Originally posted by Ken MacKenzie:
I've been sent a couple of emails about this thread asking me if it seems appropriate. I haven't considered closing it or commenting on it since I'm hoping that someone will come up with the answer all us guys from Mars have been trying to figure out since Garden of Eden days.
The thread is entirely appropriate.

My other half is the best (I refer to her lovingly as the "Sgt. Major"). She puts up with my attempts at playing, my purchase of piping toys and is coming to the East Coast with me this summer while I attend the College of Piping.

That said, she can (and does) drive me nuts sometimes. I was in the dog house last night beause I didn't bring her coffee while she was watching TV. I wasn't having coffee, the coffee pot wasn't on and we never have coffee in the evening. I happened to wander into the living room and got a dirty look and the "you didn't bring me coffee" line. I remarked that she hadn't asked for one and was told "You're supposed to know when I want one". Go figure. :) :)

She's still the best. Heart of gold. I'm lucky.

FWIW

[Pop]

My intent was as stated, I wanted, and still want help in convincing my wife to "allow' me to go to Bagpipe summer school.
I've seen lots of cool ideas, some helpful and some scary. At this point I might even try jewelry. Also thought I would suggest that I choose the vacation spot this year and she choose it next year. Think that might work?
This forum really did help me choose my pipes(Krons), and I have recieved lots of good advice from its members.

[laughingman]

Wish I could help, but we have an agreement that the words "let" and "allow" will never be used between us. I make sure that I encourage her to get away to things that she enjoys, she encourages me to go off to music camps. We also make sure to balance our solo trips with vacations together. It works well for us.

[Speeder]

Originally posted by Pop:
My intent was as stated, I wanted, and still want help in convincing my wife to "allow' me to go to Bagpipe summer school. Okay, serious input here. :rolleyes:

Right now the American buck is worth about 1.5 beaver bucks which makes your dollar worth $1.65 or so up here. Convince her to come with you to Cape Breton (College of Piping) or Prince Edward Island (Gaelic College) and turn her loose to shop to her heart's content while you pipe. She'd be able to buy jewellry 1.5 times bigger and better in Canada.

Bonus is that both places are absolutely beautiful. :)

[Ron Teague]

Well how about a wee bit of advice from DR. RON, the cheesy piobiareachd player who pretends to be a graduate professor of clinical psychology(who cares about the clinical facts, just give us a lame opinion). One could say, some middle aged men have a midlife crisis by getting bimbos and sports cars, others like to imitate ruptured aquatic water fowl while blowing into a animal hide bag(good catholic boys like to have heart surgery. It is much more dramatic). This probably won't work.

What you might want to do is have several long talks about what is bothering her about this. Is it the money, is it time away from her? Is she a bag pipe widow. does she think you are tres odd because you wear a skirt and make loud quacking/honking noises?? If it is too hot a subject to talk about then perhaps she could write you a letter which give her all of her feelings about this. You might want to write her a letter where you state why this is important for you(don't send it, just use it to make your own thoughts clear). You have to start out with the idea that there are good reasons for her concern. If done right this could be an important turning point in your relationship. If done badly--well we have a different sort of turning point. If all else fails--contact a pro who can help the two of you through this-I'm not kidding now.

Cheers

Prof. Ronald Teague, PhD, FAClinP, ABPP,
Californian License PSY4586

(yipes the cheese ball has a real job)

[Pop]

Ron,
At 65 I am having a midlife crisis? Hope that means I will live to be 130.
But I do get your point.

[Pop]

Ron,
a Ps to the above:
Why do most of us not understand women?

[Renny]

POP,
Here's what worked for me, cost me a little but worked. First I started taking here to some of the games, not only did she get to hear piping first hand both in contest but with some of the entertainment also plus the dancers things she didn't know went on. Then she found out she could dress up in "period or other" this tickled her inner woman (no offense to the female readers my wife's a walking clothes closet). The local band has a concert once a year and I started taking her to that. She not only got to hear GHB but smallpipes, parlor pipes, etc, plus they will incorporate brass sections, guitars and vocals. Then they have a local Celtic dancing school who puts on a show at this. Now she's reminding me of up coming games and events and as long as I'm not blowing her out with practice at the house there are no more complaint and more support. Just like anything else you have to start small and build up. :thumb:

-----------------------------------------------

May the Leprechauns dance over your bed and bring you sweet dreams.

[HotScot]

My son &amp; I go to quite a few workshops. Sometimes my husband comes, sometimes he doesn't. If we go to PEI, he comes along. There's good golfing, great lobster, beautiful countryside. Last summer we went to St. Andrews without him, not a lot for a spouse to do. Pick a place with thing for your wife to do. There's plenty of workshops in picturesque parts of the country. We went to Glasgow (piping centre 2 yrs ago and my husband joined us the 2nd week &amp; we went touring, he just skipped the week we were in the workshop). Your wife could always join you after the workshop.

[RosieJ]

Originally posted by Pop:
Ron,
a Ps to the above:
Why do most of us not understand women? Hey, half of the world understands women! What's so hard about it? :rolleyes: