View Full Version : "Porno" tune titles :D (oh mercy, mods!)
11-14-2005, 02:15 AM
just out of curiousity:
are there some funny "spicy" tune titles?
I dunno, Stumpie...
Upside down at Eden Court :lol:
just for fun
11-14-2005, 09:50 AM
I know a very popular 6/8 march that would qualify. I believe pipie from Tunes of Glory referred to it as "a cheesy wee tune" Anyone know which one I'm referring to?
11-14-2005, 10:43 AM
Hamilton's Nut Sack
Honey in the Bag
Begging for the Prize
11-14-2005, 11:16 AM
Without getting too rude, these three tunes spring to mind:-
The Clumsy Lover
Cock o' the North
11-14-2005, 11:51 AM
A few Lowland tunes with interesting titles come to mind:
"Hit Her Between the Legs". Here, "hit" is not to be taken literally. It was another term for,
well, you know.
"Cutty Clawed Her". "Clawing" was an old term for, shall we say, manual stimulation.
"Hold The Lass Till At I Get At Her". No need to translate.
11-14-2005, 12:56 PM
11-14-2005, 05:07 PM
a couple of years ago, our PM tried to get us to learn a set that included "wee buns" and "behind the bushes"... didn't go over so well!
11-14-2005, 05:27 PM
There is a tune in Bruce Gandy's first book called "The Parrot and the Diamond Cutter." When I was in high school, "diamond cutter" had an alternate meaning.
11-14-2005, 08:39 PM
Hey, I didn't start this thread, my this post just may end it.
A few years back, I remember seeing a tune entitled "Johnny, Cock up your Beaver".
Years ago, the visor on a knights helmet was called a "beaver", and to "cock it up" meant to raise it.
So, 2005 translation "Johnny, raise your visor".
Hey, I'm just tryin' to be helpful with Il Grandisssimo's request. :68dance: Yeah, baby!
Hey you kids, get back in the soda shoppe!
11-14-2005, 08:43 PM
Would "Paddy's Leather Breeches" count?
11-14-2005, 09:51 PM
What about the reel called "The Night we had the goats" - Dr Angus MacDonald plays it on his Cd and the music is in one of the MacFadyen books.
Another tune (on the same CD) "She put her knee in the old man"
11-14-2005, 09:59 PM
Bob Budesa's one takes the cake!!! :p
11-15-2005, 06:27 AM
Originally posted by Bob Budesa:
So, 2005 translation "Johnny, raise your visor".This was actually covered quite recently, and it means 'tilt your (beaver) hat' if I understand aright; visors were no longer common in the 17th and 18th centuries when the tune was popular. And it WAS popular to judge from the number of written appearances. The meaning is not at all scurrilous.
If you want scurrilous meanings, the George Skene ms, Aberdeen, c. 1717, is a good place to look. Some examples from memory - 'My dear, durst I but mowe you' (= darling, can I **** you?); 'the black part of the c--t' (really, and he is too shy to spell the word); and a fuller title of Tail Toddle: 'Lasses gar your tails toddle, spread your houghs, lat in the dodle, that will gar your tails toddle'.
It's no big deal - blues music and rock 'n' roll are full of it, and it's how we all got here.
11-15-2005, 10:20 AM
Originally posted by Piob Mhor:
I know a very popular 6/8 march that would qualify. I believe pipie from Tunes of Glory referred to it as "a cheesy wee tune" Anyone know which one I'm referring to? That was "Cock o' the North" whilst deciding what tunes to play for Jock's funeral.
A while back, I found a tune called the "Pornopiper". It was described as a "Hornypipe", dedicated to the composers buddy who had more videotapes than he knew what to do with. I think it was on a free site, but I could be wrong. I can't remember what the site was, it might have been axed in the "Great Copywrite Theft Bloodbath" last month. :shrug:
11-15-2005, 11:30 AM
Originally posted by Pat Farrell:
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Originally posted by Piob Mhor:
<span style="font-weight: bold"> I know a very popular 6/8 march that would qualify. I believe pipie from Tunes of Glory referred to it as "a cheesy wee tune" Anyone know which one I'm referring to? That was "Cock o' the North" whilst deciding what tunes to play for Jock's funeral. </span></div></div>Sorry, it should have been said that it was from the Colonel's funeral, not Jock's.
11-15-2005, 11:37 AM
How about the "Cunning Stunt"
11-15-2005, 01:58 PM
Originally posted by Pat Farrell:
Sorry, it should have been said that it was from the Colonel's funeral, not Jock's. Jock's the best pipah!
11-15-2005, 02:24 PM
Originally posted by Linz:
"Great Copywrite Theft Bloodbath" That's one way of putting it! :thumb:
Michael F. Bell
11-15-2005, 02:34 PM
Originally posted by Linz:
A while back, I found a tune called the "Pornopiper" ... I think it was on a free site, but I could be wrong. I can't remember what the site was.... It's in the Piper and Drummer (http://www.piperanddrummer.com) Tune Post section. Some of the note lengths look suspect.
11-15-2005, 04:09 PM
Don't know if it counts as porno or just bad taste ( could be both depending on what you are into.....) but I recently won third prze in the Northumbrian Pipers Society composition contest with a tune called "John Liestman's Six Inch Number Two". (It's about a set meal of a particular size in a Subway...honest!!!!)
Another old tune is "Four Bare Legs Together".
11-15-2005, 10:03 PM
The Barren Rocks reminds of a 2/4 tune selection that we used to play in the old Cardiff RSL Pipe Band many years ago - Brown Haired Maid, Barren Rocks and Chorriechoillie.
Whilst marching down the street the tunes would be called out by the PM and usually came out as the Barren Maid and Brown Haired Rocks :lol:
11-16-2005, 12:57 AM
Happy we've been together! :p
Mr Dickie and Mr Lawther got the sense of this post, just to have a laugh at "special" tune titles :D
i.e. Willie, Donald and his dog...kinky uh?
Keep 'em coming! oh well...
Greetings frae Italy
11-16-2005, 03:32 AM
"Jock Wilson's Ball" and "Dolan's Ass"
11-16-2005, 03:58 AM
Up and Warn Them A' Willie
Jenny Dang the Weaver
Boy's Lament for his Dragon
The Campbells are Coming
and for names of bands, the "Betty Swallocks Band" has to take the prize.
Michael F. Bell
11-16-2005, 10:40 AM
Sorry to disappoint, but the menage a trois you were fantasizing about ain't there. It's actually Donald Willie [not Willie Donald] and His Dog, with no commas.
11-16-2005, 10:56 AM
Sorry to disappoint, but the menage a trois you were fantasizing about ain't there. It's actually Donald Willie [not Willie Donald] and His Dog, with no commas.Still....
11-16-2005, 11:57 PM
Michael, pm wright i apologize.
Kinky on the same :D
W. F. Morrison
11-17-2005, 06:31 AM
In the old Scot's Guards single volume of tunes the following marches are page to page,
Behind the Bush in the Garden
Blythe and Merry Was She.
Check it out.
Warren Morrison, Loch Norman Pipe Band
11-17-2005, 08:22 AM
Can't remember if I learned this tune out of one of the Gathering of the Clans collections, or Terry Tully's books, but I have a tune called
"The Black Hoe"
I also really laughed when I saw "Hamilton's Nut sack"
And don't forget one of the most famous - "Ass in the Graveyard!" (Yeah, yeah, I know, it's supposed to be "Mass in the Graveyard," but somebody misunderstood....) :rolleyes:
11-17-2005, 11:55 AM
I always have though the lispers would get a kick out of "Athole Cummers." Another double entendre: "I Laid a Herring in Salt." What? Thats a tune?
11-17-2005, 12:38 PM
I just came across a hornpipe entitled "Cathy's Willie". :shrug:
11-17-2005, 02:33 PM
Atholl Cummers is about as good as it gets. 'Specially if you hold out your tongue and say it.
The Black Cocks of Berrydale isn't bad at all either.
11-17-2005, 02:53 PM
Oh s%^t, I wanted to be the first one to mention "The Night We Did (sorry... Had) the Goats"... :( :wink:
11-19-2005, 08:35 AM
Duncan Johnston's 'Wee Man in the Boat' and Gordon Campbell's (Oh NO! not him again?) 'Bee in the Knickers'
11-19-2005, 08:36 AM
Just rthought about that one. Duncan Johnston is Gordon's great hero.
11-19-2005, 09:26 PM
There is a nice tune in Allan MacDonalds book: "In and Out of the Harbour." Uhm?
11-20-2005, 03:33 AM
Any port in a storm!!
11-20-2005, 06:10 AM
Originally posted by W. F. Morrison:
Behind the Bush in the Garden
The old rhyme goes -
'Behind the bush, behind the bush,
Behind the bush in the garden,
The maiden lost her maidenhead
For fourpence ha'penny farthin.'
Not many people knew that. Some things I don't know - what does Cummers actually mean? And in what possible sense is Good Drying a dodgy title?
And, surprised that no-one else has yet mentioned this, there is a fine old Irish pipe slip jig usually known as O'Farrell's Welcome to Limerick, sometimes as The Choice Wife. I have heard, from several different sources, that the original Irish Gaelic title is somewhat more, er... interesting. But it's not the sort of thing one would post here.
11-20-2005, 09:17 AM
Ah, An Phis Fhliuch? Great tune on Uilleann pipes, one of my favourites until they were borrowed (for nearly two years now..James...are you listening???!!!).
There are quite a few tune title in the Gaelic that have a very blunt translation - the piobaireachd in Thomason's Ceol Mor, The Drizzle on the Stone, has a slightly different title in Gaelic.
11-20-2005, 11:50 AM
Originally posted by Matt Seattle:
what does Cummers actually mean? I had heard it meant a gossip, and double checked on an online Scots dictionary......
Cummer, Cummar, n.2 Also: cu-, ku-, cwmar; cummere, ku-, cwmmer, cumber; ku-, cumer, comer(e.
[ME. commare (1303 only), OF. commere.] A godmother (in relation to the parents and other godparents); a female intimate; a woman gossip. (a)
11-21-2005, 03:23 AM
fun how in southern Italy "comare" pronounced "koh-mà-reh" is said of a woman doing gossip.
As well "comare" is said of a godmother, and it comes from, er, the latin word "cum" (with) "mater/madre" (mother)
also godfather is "compare" (latin cum pater/padre).
"The Sheepwife" is for bizarre pipers.
Greetings fom Italy
11-21-2005, 05:38 AM
"The Ass in the Graveyard" (kinky)
"If I get a Bonnie Lass"
"The Honeymoon" conjures up all kinds of imagery...
"The Successful Lover"
Most of these are from the Moidart Collection.
New Hudson Highlander
11-21-2005, 10:39 AM
It would be interesting to name a medley of tunes, combining, say, pipermacbear's first two tunes in reverse order, adding an apostrophe and leaving out the word "The".
Originally posted by Ken Law:
Would "Paddy's Leather Breeches" count? :D
Sure. I saw some of those in leather on Ebay (no reference to other Ebay threads :lol: ) while searching under "kilts".
11-21-2005, 03:52 PM
Originally posted by Michael F. Bell:
Sorry to disappoint, but the menage a trois you were fantasizing about ain't there. It's actually Donald Willie [not Willie Donald] and His Dog, with no commas. You got that idea from Scots Guards I'll bet. It is a typo. The notes for the tune say it was written on the occasion of walking in the hill with Willie and his dog and it the author was Donald.
11-24-2005, 12:55 AM
NHH how come u "search under kilts" on Ebay?
shame on you! :D
And ..er..what did u find?
Greetings from Italy
11-24-2005, 01:31 AM
Some of these titles are only suggestive to North Americans. On this side of the water an ass is a quadruped, as also is a beaver. But there is also linguistic confusion here, as when the lady walked into the butcher's shop and asked "Good mornin, Wull, is that your Ayrshire bacon?" and Wull replied, "Och no, ma'am, Ah wis just warmin ma legs on the radiator."
Well I managed to resist the temptation to post on this ridiculously childish thread (Giovanni, che cosa ti dice la testa!) up until now.
However, after first seeing the thread last week, there are literaly hundreds of tune titles that I simply won't be able to see in the same (inocent) light as before. It's just one "double entendre" after another.
An yes if I must make a contribution it would be "Andy Renwick's Favourite Ferret" that tickles my fancy in particular (with no offence intended to Andy of course).
No, that's me over there...
11-29-2005, 11:33 AM
I have occasionally wondered about the true meaning of "The Mink Sporran" ... or is that just me?
My pipe band has a tune that we don't translate into English... It is (translated) "The Farting Black Ass (possibly 'arse' some of the translators disagree...)
12-02-2005, 07:12 AM
How about 'Fanny Power'?
12-02-2005, 12:11 PM
What about the hornpipe "Hamilton's Nutsack"