Christmas (Holiday) Limerick

[Jan]

When Santa took off in his sleigh,

[Randy J. Homer]

A hurricane got in the way.

[Randy J. Homer]

But his 'Big Blaw' was meaner
Than any Katrina.
His bagpipes had saved the day!

[Jan]

I couldn't resist finishing this one with a "piping" theme.

When Santa took off in his sleigh,
A hurricane got in the way.
A bright shiny nose
A long way it goes,
But a piper would sure save the day!


Let's try another.

Old scrooge he did nothing but frown ,

[Randy J. Homer]

http://www.scotpress.com/catalog/images/C-205-S.jpg

[Jan]

Randy, surely we're not the only poets on this forum?

[Randy J. Homer]

I hope not!

Old scrooge he did nothing but frown,
When Braemar came piping to town.
But Mitch made him smile
In a very short while.
You just can't keep a good drummer down!

(She used chocolate!)

How 'bout:

In Australia, our Christmas is sunny,

[Les Matheson]

to Northerners that seems funny

[Jan]

In Australia, our Christmas is sunny,
to Northerners that seems funny.
When we fire up the barbie,

[Randy J. Homer]

In Australia, our Christmas is sunny.
To Northerners that seems funny.
When we fire up the barbie,
My girlfriend (from Derby)
Jingles better than some chilly Snow Bunny!


(Jan, that wasn't very fair! Do you know how hard it is to rhyme with 'barbie'?!! People who aren't from Derby may not know how to properly pronounce it!)

[Jan]

Sorry, Randy, but you came through with flying colors!


"There once was a reindeer called Jerry,"

[W. F. Morrison]

There once was a reindeer called Jerry
who really was so fond of sherry,
he went down each chimney
to try and find any;
both he and Santa were merry.

Happy Holidays!
Warren Morrison, Loch Norman Pipe Band
Huntersville NC

[Jan]

There once was a reindeer called Jerry,
Who drank and like to make merry.
He heard Santa's call,
He then took a fall.
Now Jerry is part of a curry.

[shottsfan]

'Tis better to be naughty than nice

[windsaloft]

A naughty young lass named Deanna
Thought she might play the piana
Though she used her best sticks
And made lots of nicks
She never got much of a "whamma"

[shottsfan]

On Santa's quick trip through Wyoming
The toys and the coal he was throwing
He thought of wee Terri
In kilt and Glengarry
And on the bagpipes she was blowing

[Colonel644]

Originally posted by windsaloft:
A naughty young lass named Deanna
ROFLMAO!!!!

[The Bad Piper]

(PC Version:) Rudolph The Rednosed Reindeer:

Rudolph was a four hooved ungulate,

Who, incidentally, was possessed of a nasal appendage of a maroonish lustre,

Consequently, if circumstances dictated that he come into your view,

You would most undoubtedly remark as to its illuminative capabilities,

The vast multitude of other members of the ungulate population in his biological community,

had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, and dubbed him with unspeakable pseudonyms...the objective being to substantially lower his self-esteem and render him most miserable.

They excluded him from participation in leisure time activities consistent with their species..

However, on 24 December, in an unspecified year,

A mythological, supernatural being, inherent in western culture (One who symbolizes the Christmas attitude and alledgedly brings gifts to children) arrived through the supersaturated, humid air.

This being formally invited Rudolph, due to his extraordinary nasal characteristic,

To stand at the forefront of his snow vehicle for the express purpose of navigational support through the noctural mists.

At this point, the aforementioned other members of Rudolphs' biological community, those who had previously teased, chuckled boisterously and dubbed him with unspeakable pseudonyms, reversed their disposition towards Rudolph and approached him in a far more congenial, amicable manner.

Consequently, they all exclaimed, with great exulation and fervor,

Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer,

It is certain that you shall henceforth be recorded in the annals of time; your name recorded for posterity!!!

[W. F. Morrison]

'Tis better to be naughty than nice.
Partygoers welcome your vice.
Even Santa makes jolly
with elves and with holly,
And there's alternate uses for 'pipes.

Happy holidays to all!
Warren Morrison, LNPB
Huntersville NC USA

[windsaloft]

A bottle of Woodford Reserve
On the roof causes Santa to swerve
But the Colonel says "join me"
In Woodford enhanced glee
And they eat all the fruitcake they deserve.

Or something like that.