Mental Problems

[maitland]

MacKay the piper had been sectioned and was in the Mental Hospital (not the first of his name to wind up there).
He and two other patients were sent to the Chief Psychiatrist for examination and possible discharge. They sat in the waiting room until the first was called.
"Now then," said the Shrink, "Let's see how you're getting on. Point to your Knee."
Hesitantly, the patient indicated his foot.
"No, I'm afraid you'll have to stay with us for more treatment. Tell the next man to come in."

As he entered the waiting room, the other asked, "How did you get on?"
"Awfie hard questions. I failed," he said.

The next man entered. "Now", said the Doctor, "Let's see how you are. Point to your knee."
He did so. "Good. Now point to your foot." Again, the correct part was identified. "Excellent! Now point to your chest."
The patient thought for a moment, then pointed to his arm.
"Oh Dear! I'll have to put you down for more treatment. Now send in the last man."

MacKay and the other patient enquired but the fellow shook his head sadly, "Gey hard questions, I couldnae answer them."

MacKay went in.
"Now. Point to your knee...Good!"
"Point to your foot...Good again."
"Now your chest...Excellent! I'll discharge you straight away this afternoon."

The others crowded round MacKay as he came back to the waiting room.
"I passed! I'm getting out today."
They were impressed. "But how did you manage thae hard questions?"
"Easy, I used the heid," replied MacKay, pointing proudly to his elbow...