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Piping and Drumming Jokes Be nice (please)

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Old 09-13-2017, 05:49 PM   #1
Holy smoking keyboard!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: North America
Posts: 3,060
Default A RE-Tread, But For Our New(er) Pipers :)

Well... and there he was... walking down the beach...
and enjoying the last days o' th' decent weather...

And his foot hits something hard in th' sand...

So he reaches down to see... and he picks up... a lamp!

And he rubs it... and sure enough... out comes... th' Genie!

And th' Genie says: "Ta! Time's past.. and it's a different deal
now.... and you only get one wish!... so make it good!"

And being a good fellow... he says that all of th' trouble in th'
Middle East is so bad... and for so many... that he would like
to see a map of it all... and have Peace brought to it...

Ka-Boom! The Genie has a map!... and studies it a while...
and then says to the fellow: "You know, this sort of thing
really isn't in my line... (as he puts the map back into the
bottle)... and since I can't do this... I'll give you a go at one
more wish"... but only th' one!

And the fellow says: "Well, I've gone and taken up learning
how to play th' pipes... and I'm having a tough time with all
of those embellishments... and I'd like your help with that."

The Genie sighs... and grumbles (as Genies are wont to do)...
and turning back to the bottle says.... "Well Blast! Let's have
another look... at that map..."

My friends all know,
With what a brave carouse...
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Old 09-21-2017, 06:25 AM   #2
Seán Donnelly
Forum Regular
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ireland
Posts: 146
Default Re: A RE-Tread, But For Our New(er) Pipers :)

A version of this joke doing the rounds in Dublin many years ago concerned a notoriously tight-fisted uilleann piper, a brilliant player by the way. It was said that when he drove his mother down the country to see her relatives he charged her for the petrol!

Anyway, a traditional musician keels over, and finds himself in front of St Peter, who is looking very ominous. He proceeds to read out a long list of the musician's sins and misdemeanours, and says to him: 'The only reason your have been allowed to see me is that in spite of all these sins you were kind to people, and your music gave great pleasure to thousands, and God decided to give a chance. But you have to do penance: take this egg-spoon and back down to Dublin with you, and level the Hill of Howth'. 'Level the Hill of Howth? But that'll take millions of years.' 'Well, you can always hang around the Old Sheiling in Raheny [then a well-known venue for traditional music not too far from Howth], and wait for X to buy you a pint.' 'To hell with it, give me the spoon!'

Coda: At a piping do long, long ago, said piper bought me a pint at three o'clock in the morning. Recovering from the shock, I mentioned the momentous event to a friend at breakfast: 'In the name of God, Seán, what did you do? Drink it, or frame it?'

Last edited by Seán Donnelly; 09-21-2017 at 06:26 AM. Reason: grammar
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