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Piping and Drumming Jokes Be nice (please)

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Old 09-16-2020, 10:45 AM   #1
Michael Kazmierski Dunn
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: College: Alma, Michigan, USA / Home: Rockford, Michigan, USA
Posts: 389
Default Clean Jokes from age 10 and up

I hope these aren't too lame, but please bare in mind I conjured up these jokes when I was only 10 and just started to fall in love with the pipes. Remember this is only coming from the 10-year-old me. Some of these are my perspective and others written by my mother in place of a photo album.
At age 8, I began my love affair with the bagpipes. I made up a joke one day and asked, "What kind of instrument does a fly play?"
"The bug-pipes!"
My best one yet: What song do bagpipers play when they're squatting on the ground? "Squat-land the Brave!!!"
My twin sister Lizzie and I are anointed music ministers at New Year's Eve Mass before 2007. Lizzie thinks they're really music "mini-sters" because they're so much younger than the others.
Lizzie decides that when Michael plays his bagpipes at church he is a "Chantor Cantor."
In highschool: At Fenian's Irish Pub one night, a young piper Griffin and his new bride Regina came in. When Mom told us who had arrived and we greeted them, she referred to them as the "Newlyweds". Apparently I had never heard the term so he said, "Their last name is Newlywed? I thought it was Cobeen!!"
As students of classical music, the kids were learning Braille music notation. They both decide they really dislike the repeat signs and wish they could contact the composers (now all dead), and tell them they should remove all the repeat signs. Michael decides they could try calling heaven by dialing 1-800-LORD GOD!!
The doors of St. Cecilia Music Center make a loud, long squeak as you enter. I said they could use some WD-40 and Lizzie pipes up, "No, you mean some WD-440!!
The kids played for many charity events including Very Special Arts. At one event there was a "silent" auction being held in the corridor outside the ballroom. While it was going on, it was quite noisy out there. Michael walked back into the ballroom and said, "That's not a silent auction! It's louder out there than it is in here!"
A part of Michael's bagpipes called the "tone enhancer" felt similar to the shape of a Celexa pill, which Lizzie then called a "brain enhancer". (smile)
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