Be nice (please)

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    Q. Why do bagpipers have such large families?

    A. Because their wives/husbands will do just about anything to get them to stop playing.


    Q.How can you tell the difference between bagpipe tunes?

    A. By their titles

    Q. What single thing can you do to most greatly improve the quality of your bagpipe music?

    A. Play it on the piano.
    This week I have achieved unprecedented levels of unverifiable productivity.

  • #2
    Re: My favorites

    A clan chief retained a local piper to play during his elaborate suppers. On one such occasion the piper, Hamish, was overlooked as to his usual dram before commencing play. To revenge the chief, the piper provided a bad example of his art. This caused the chief to rebuke Hamish harshly and demand explanation.

    "The pipes play verra, verra hard this evening", explained Hamish.

    "Tell me what shall soften them?" demanded the chief.

    "Och, whusky. Only whusky shall help sir".

    With a perfunctory wave of the hand, a servant was quickly sent for a glass of the aforementioned spirits which Hamish hastily downed his throat.

    The chief was infuriated. "Hamish! You scoundrel! Did you not say it was for the bagpipes?"

    "Aye sir. But these pipes are most peculiar. They prefer the whusky to be blawed in."

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